i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The air was thick with penises
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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