pop tarts are not kleenex
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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