It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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