READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
