Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
