i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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