I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
