Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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