only if we run a train.
done.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
