I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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