3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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