I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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