We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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