I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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