I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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