Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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