my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
