are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
