your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
