Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
