I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
