he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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