Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
