Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
