new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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