I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
