Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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