when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
