Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
