if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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