When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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