Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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