Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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