I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize