you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
