I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
