carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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