where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
