What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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