Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
