love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
