Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't deserve a penis
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
