so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i came on her dog
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize