am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
