im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
