I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
