They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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