I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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