I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize