This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
