So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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