I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
