Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
