i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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