It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
