allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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