im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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