So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
